37 weeks, 2 days and.... STILL COOKING

Just a quick update because I have been asked by many people (that don't see me on a regular basis) if I have had the twins yet... NOPE.  The boys are super healthy and growing like crazy.  Each baby is over 6.5 lbs.  Both boys are head down again (Zayden flipped to breach last week, but is back to head down) and ready to go.  I have started to do acupuncture treatments that are supposed to induce labor.  Sue, my acupuncturist thinks I'll have the babies no later than this coming Wednesday.  I hope she is right.  I am 186 lbs, 45 inches around, not sleeping so well and out of clothes that fit.  My mom is here to help with the babies and instead is organizing my whole house!!!! I love the organizing, but I'd rather have her holding her grandsons. I am grateful for how healthy the boys are, but I am soooooo ready for them to come out.  I am not dilated in the slightest.  I do have random contractions, but nothing in a pattern or too intense.  I have not lost my mucous plug yet either.  I am hormonal and exhausted.  But... all is well and I know I'll meet my boys soon.

Lasts Before Firsts

                       
**The above pics are from the ward baby shower.  The games were to take pictures of Beau and I, combine them to show what our boys will look like...YIKES! and playdough babies... super fun!
** I am blog-dumb and am not sure why these pics are at the top, but I couldn't get them to post where I wanted.

    So I am still pregnant.  34 weeks today! I am becoming extremely uncomfortable in pretty much every aspect possible and I am trying so hard to not let my selfish side win the mental battle.  I want soooooooo badly to have my body back or at least be able to walk, bend over and see my toes like a normal person.... oh and sleep on my stomach!! But I know that it is way more important for the boys health to have them stay put as long as possible.
    So here is my venting moment:  My belly skin feels like it is burning most of the day because it is stretched so thin and the boys push and kick against it super hard.  I love all the movement I feel, but it is literally constant and in my crotch and ribs at the same time...not a fun 24 hour feeling.  I have to sleep sitting up at night because of heartburn.  After just an hour or less of attempting to fall asleep my tailbone is killing me and my belly is super heavy.  My hair is falling out and has been for a little while.  I hate the feeling of random hairs on me.  It kind of feels like a spider that you can't quite find.  My feet, ughhhhh my feet.  They hurt soooo bad on a daily basis from the moment I get out of bed, which is why I now stay in bed as long as the boys will let me in the morning.  Beau gives some awesome foot massages though :) TMI:  There is a gross odor down south that I am told is normal, but oh my gosh it is gross!!! I am really ready for that to be gone.  I am tired of eating every hour and peeing every 10 minutes (literally).  If I don't eat enough I swear the boys get really rowdy, which then makes me a little nauseous.  Each time I pee it is about the same amount as my 2 year old nephew, but it feels like I was holding back a gallon.  I don't think the boys like it when I try to hold it because Zayden starts punching or poking my bladder to get it out of the way.  I haven't swollen a ton or retained water, which I am super grateful for, but just today my fingers are too swollen to wear my wedding ring...or any ring I have for that matter.  I have outgrown all of Beau's T-shirts and have resorted to borrowing Dave Link's T-shirts since they are a little longer.  Even those are on the edge of too short.  I want to hug and cuddle with Beau, but I am either way too hot or uncomfortable to be touched.  Lastly, my energy is GONE!  I try really hard to be productive or social and both fall flat.
    Wow, sorry.  Now that that is done there are tons of things I love about being pregnant.  Some of which are also part of my venting.  I love to feel my boys moving.  It gives me so much peace to know they are developing and growing.  The fact that at least one is moving at all hours is actually a blessing because I never have to question if something is wrong.  People are super nice to me at random places.  Not sure if it is just because of how prego I look or because my face grimaces with each step, but whatever the reason I appreciate the kindness.  Just the fact that I am pregnant is still mind blowing to me.  I had days/months that I thought I would never have such a blessing.  It is a cool experience to know that I am growing and supporting 2 lives within me. I talk to them and read to them and I feel like they interact with my touch.  At one of my NST appointments I had a fun time because if either of their heart rates dropped into the 120's (which is normal) I would put my hand on them and watch as their heart rate immediately went back into the 140's or 150's.  I loved that.  I love how tender Beau is when he touches my belly or talks to the boys.  I love to watch his face when he feels a "big" movement from either boy.  I love knowing that my actions and choices are all made based on protecting my boys.  And, it is kind of nice that not much is expected of me these days.  It's ok that I never changed out of my PJ's today, never put a bra on and didn't clean a single thing around the house.  Beau was happy I took a nap... hahaha.  I know these days of lounging in a silent house will be over soon, so I am trying to enjoy each moment.
     So that leads into my lasts before firsts.  Beau and I have had many moments the past week realizing that this is most likely the last couple weeks (or days) that it will just be the two of us.  We will be parents for the rest of our lives.  It is our last little while of not having to worry about our children's choices and futures.  It is our last time to be selfish.  It is our last few weeks (for at least for a long time) to do things entirely spur of the moment.  BUT we are in such high anticipation for all the firsts that lie ahead.  We cannot wait for the first time we hold our babies.  We can't wait for their first day home.  We can't wait for their first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.  We can't wait for their first "twin" interactions.  We just can't wait.  That is the other part of the selfishness of wanting them to come sooner rather than later... we are too excited and don't want to keep waiting to meet our little men!!!!
    On another note, we decided last week to change doctors.  I became very spoiled, I guess, at the infertility clinic having one doctor that knew me and my story.  After we left the clinic we were referred to a group/team of doctors that is known as the "multiple experts".  I have never doubted their medical expertise, but I hated having a new doctor each appointment and feeling like I had to reintroduce myself constantly.  I didn't like that it was a roll of the dice for who would be delivering my babies.  With our decision to use the hypnobirthing technique I felt like I got a little push back and ego attitude from some of the doctors.  I was told that my plans and ideas were great, but I needed to trust them, "they're the doctors".  I didn't like that answer.  I trust them if medical intervention is needed, but I want a doctor that will support me in trying to go natural first before intervening.  My hypnobirthing teacher, Launi, referred us to Dr. Steven Berry and it was an instant feeling of comfort when we met with him.  He spent 45 minutes talking to us and answering any questions we had.  His response to my plan was that he hoped he could simply put his hands in his pockets and let me do my thing... THANK YOU!  He is mainly a pediatrician, so he will be the boys doctor after birth as well... We really like that.  With twins there are a few hospital policies that we have no choice but to abide by and that is fine.  We will be delivering in the operating room.  There must be two doctors in the room at the time of delivery along with a team of NICU people.  Dr. Berry works closley with the team of doctors we just left so who ever is on call that night will be the second doctor.  I like that for the fact that the doctor in charge supports me and I trust his OB skills/knowledge, but the second doctor is part of the "twin specialist" team... I get the best of both worlds :)
    Two things to finish up this post... The amazing Young Woman's group in my ward threw me an awesome baby shower on the 17th.  It was a great turnout where once again I felt a ton of love and support.  I am such a blessed girl with the support system I have around me!  AND... the nursery is finally done!!! After the babies are born we'll hang up pictures of them and our family, but everything else is done!!! I feel a lot of relief knowing that we have everything we need to bring them home.  It is a tiny room, but I think we made the most of the space...especially fitting two babies in it!

The view as you come in the door.  The cribs are mini cribs.

View standing in front of the closet.  The changing table is also a bathtub :) 

The closet....tiny clothes!! 

My rocker/recliner.  Fake baby and all in the swing :) Diaper bag is packed and diaper genie is ready for use!!

Oh, I forgot a few big things.... I have not had to do my heparin shots for the last TWO WEEKS!!! This is the first time since 2006, when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis that I have not had to take at least one shot a week.  I am loving it :)  All my bruising from the Heparin shots is finally gone!

Sue, my acupuncturist has me taking a herbal supplement called 5-W, which she swears will help sustain the pregnancy for a few weeks longer and I still do my progesterone lotion at night.  I think with both of those supplements, these boys will not be here before the end of Septemeber :)

And if any other prego mamas (or anybody) are having trouble sleeping, I have just discovered that a drop of lavender Doterra oil on the bottom of your feet will knock you out.  I have slept the past 3 nights in a row!!! Granted I am sitting up still, but at least I am falling asleep within an hour of going to bed instead of around 6:00 am.  It's nice.

Non-Stress Test??... Almost.

     So today I had my first non-stress test (NST).  It seemed really basic and relaxed when the nurse was explaining it to me.  I had to sit in a comfy recliner with a heart monitor on my belly for each baby and a third monitor to measure any uterine contractions...simple.  First an ultrasound nurse came in and did a very quick ultrasound to check the amount of amniotic fluid in each sac.  Mav had a 7 and Z had a 6.5.  Those numbers don't mean anything to me except that the nurse said they were perfect... yay.  Next she told me that both boys are head down...yay!! They may not stay that way, but I am crossing my fingers.  Finally, using the ultrasound they located each baby's heart and the ultrasound was done.
     The NST nurse was really nice and we were chatting while she got things set up on my belly.  She put me in a very reclined position so I was pretty close to flat on my back.  I didn't think much of it, but after about 5-10 minutes of monitoring the heart rates I started to get really nauseous.
     I asked if I could have my water and after downing nearly the entire 32 ounces I literally started to drip sweat.  The nurse told me I was getting really pale and I said the room was going black.  It sounded like I was underwater and I could barely understand what she was saying.  I kept repeating that I didn't feel good over and over again.  The nurse started going in and out of the room grabbing things.  One trip was ice packs that were put on my head, back of my neck and chest.  Another trip was for a puke bowl and ice chips.  A third trip was for a glass of coke and a doctor.  The nurse had taken my blood pressure when I first got to the office and it was normal for me... 95/ 68.  I've always had low blood pressure, but have been told it is fine for my body type.  The nurse took my blood pressure a few times during all the craziness and my blood pressure had dropped to 70 something/30 something... no bueno!
     Once the doctor came in she rolled me on to my left side and put an oxygen monitor on me.  Over the next 5 minutes the room went back to normal lighting and I could once again hear things normally.  All it was,was the fact that the babies are getting heavy enough that if I am on my back they will put too much pressure on the huge vein that goes to your heart and slow the blood circulation...drastically in my case.  Simple fix :) After that fun 10-15 min everything was fine.  I will have an NST every week until I deliver.  I will always lay on my left side :)
     Even during the craziness the boys heart rates remained in the "normal zone".  Maverick's rate never left the 140's, but Zayden's dropped slightly into the 130's but went right back up to the high 140's once I was back to normal.  I have some strong boys :) love them!
     A few random things:
***I talked to my doctor about my birth preferences today and gave him a list I had put together.  My list will be put in my file so that no matter which doctor I have for delivery, they will know where I stand.  He made sure though that in case of an emergency that I was willing to trust their judgement and 99% of it I am.  I am learning that some doctors do things just because it is what they have always done without having an actual medical reason behind it.  Those moments I will trust my judgement/research/birthing coach to make the best call for the babies.
*** I think it is funny how many people, complete strangers, ask when I am due or say, "Any day now.".  I even had a complete stranger offer his help if I needed it when it came time to delivery...ODD.   I haven't really had anyone I didn't know start rubbing my belly, but I have a feeling that is not too far off.
*** Two good things about being this prego for today are that I stopped at a random hair salon and asked to use their bathroom.  They said of course without even a funny look.  Trying to hold your pee at this stage is seriously painful.  The second thing was that no one looked at me funny when I simply stood in the walk in dairy fridge area at Costco.  I got the eggs I needed, but then stood there, in the middle for a few minutes... It felt sooooooo good :)
     Last, I was able to take maternity pictures this week.  I am waiting for the disc with all the pictures, but the ones I have seen so far I am happy with.  Of course it is odd when you are the one in every picture, but I am trying to not be too critical :)

Rochelle Larson of Pointe Digital Photography & Video took my pictures... look her up :)!!! 

I am hoping to keep these little guys cooking for another 4-6 weeks... keep us in your prayers :) 

No More Stories Please...

   I am writing this post probably at a bad time.  I should probably wait till I am calmer and not as overwhelmed/fired-up as I am, but oh well.
    First let me make it clear that I appreciate and LOVE all the support I have received for myself and these babies.  I have been blown away by the amount of friends and family that are praying for us, thinking about us and are excited for us.  I can't thank you all enough.
       With all that has come MANY stories and I feel like I did when I couldn't get pregnant. The stories and millions of scenarios I hear almost daily are getting to me.  They are of someone else's journey and this is my journey and my story.  To this point, it has been unlike anyone else's journey (I feel) and my delivery and subsequent raising of twins will be MY journey as well.  That is not to say that I don't appreciate or want advice.  I don't know all the in's and out's of what I am going through or am about to face, BUT I am one that does my research.  I have made informed decisions about having a natural birth.  I have made informed decisions on how I will breastfeed.  I will make informed decisions along the way as I am sure not everything will go as planned.  I do things based off how it feels to me, not how others think it should be done.  If you would like to offer positive support than by all means please do.  If you are going to tell me that I am a new mom that is just clueless than please keep that to yourself.  If you have a twin birth story, please just share the advice portion and leave the story out.
    I will never put my boys in danger.  I will do everything in my power to protect them.  Through my research and faith I feel that that is exactly what I am doing.  I am not opposed to or think that modern medicine is evil, but rather the contrary.  It is a gift from God, but so is my natural body.  I plan to use what God has already given me in nature first and than if needed use what He has given me on earth to supplement a natural process.
    I am blessed to have an amazing man by my side that continues to support me in all my choices.  He trusts me to make decisions based on what is best for our babies.  I ask that other's do the same.  Thank you and the end :)

On a happier, less stressed note... the boys are doing great.  I start my Non-stress Tests on Monday and will have them weekly till I deliver.  I am overall doing great.  Each day I find one more little activity that has become much harder to accomplish.  I get TIRED very easily.  The nursery is almost done (I'll post pictures when it is).  I count my blessings daily of how well things are going.  I truly do appreciate all the support!  It takes a lot of stress/worry out of the equation.

The Boys are GROWING... and So Am I!!!

     I am now 28 weeks and had an ultrasound today... I am a happy mama.  My boys are doing so well and it is such a relief to see them.  Maverick has his head right above my cervix looking up and is in an L shape along my right side.  Zayden is in the fetal position taking up the space on my right.  Z is literally sitting on Mav's head and Mav's feet are kicking Z's head.  I've been able to feel them moving for the past 2-3 weeks.  Based on the last ultrasound at week 20 I thought I knew which one was kicking or punching and I thought I had their personalities figured out...WRONG.  They've moved and grown a bunch.  I thought Z was constantly kicking me and was the rowdy one, but it was Mav the whole time.  Z is much more relaxed than I thought.   Right when we started the ultrasound we were able to catch Mav yawning... so cute!!! Mav also had is hand up over his head pushing on Z's butt :) haha.
    Mav is 2 lbs 6 oz.  Z is 2 lbs 8 oz.  Both boy's weights are awesome.  They are the same weight as a single baby would be at this point, which makes me super happy.  Their length is 3 days ahead of my gestational time, which puts them in the 47-49 percentile.  I wish the Dr would tell me inches, I'll try to get inches on my next appointment.  Mav's heart rate was 149 and Z was 143, both great.  Basically, ALL GOOD NEWS :)

This is a side profile of Mav yawning :) LOVE IT. 

28 weeks @ 170 lbs!!! I've gained 38 lbs!!! I was told that is good though, Yikes!  I am measuring the same as a 36 week single pregnancy.

     So life now consists of lots of heartburn/acid reflux.  I've resorted to using Tums, which are safe, but I am hoping to find a natural solution.  My neighbor said she had something, so I need to call her ASAP.  I don't make it through the day or night without Tums.  Sleeping is getting tricky.  I've tried the U-shaped pillow, the straight body pillow, and a tiny little wedge pillow.  I like the wedge pillow.  I place it under my belly with another regular pillow between my knees.  I feel like this set up allows me to switch sides constantly and easily through the night.  I have to switch a ton because my hips hurt and occasionally go numb... not fun.  My energy is getting less and less.  I am back to needing naps, but for now it is an every other day thing.  I have so many things I want/need to do before the boys come and it is getting harder and harder to get through even a quarter of my to-do-list each day.  Bending over sucks and totally random, but no one tells you that wiping after using the restroom also gets tougher and tougher!  My feet feel bruised on the days I walk around a lot.  This extra weight is for sure being felt!  BUT with all the "fun" stuff I just mentioned, I can't complain.  I am not on bed rest, I am not throwing up, I am able to still go and do fun things, my boys are very healthy and I feel great most days.  

     I was blessed on July 11th to have a baby shower planned for me by sisters and friends.  It was amazing to me to see and feel the amount of love and support there is for me, Beau and these little boys! It was chaotic, but wonderful and thank you to all those that were there and I missed you for those that weren't able to make it.  Our house is a mess with all the amazing gifts we received.  Its a good problem to have :) 

     I decided I wanted to see what all the Hypnobirthing buzz was about, so Beau and I started the Hypnobirthing classes this past week.  We are taking them from Launi Anderson.  She keeps it real and entertaining.  The philosophy behind the practice is basic yet thought provoking.  I think it should be called "Self Relaxation for All of Life's Challenges".  It simply takes labor back to the way nature intended it to be and not the way it is portrayed in the media.  It shows you how to fully relax your body and allow it to work the way it is designed to work...in sync.  In a very quick nutshell, think of woman in 3rd world countries or animals.  When they give birth they typically do it alone and in a very calm manner.  Most (not all) complications occur when tension or fear becomes present during labor, which causes a woman's birthing muscles to no longer work in sync.  Fear causes blood to go to areas of the bodies based on where the brain sends it (fight or flight kicks in with fear) and the uterus/cervix is last on the brains list.  Hypnobirthing is a good birth route for healthy woman with healthy babies.  There are of course circumstances where it wouldn't work totally, but the relaxation will help with whatever way labor goes.  I was surprised at how much Beau got into it.  He is happy we are using it.  I told my OB today that we would be using Hypnobirthing and they are totally fine with it.  They actually appreciate when woman learn about it because of how much the relaxation techniques help with any situation.  I am oddly kind of excited for labor to see how it all pans out. 

     Lastly, the nursery construction was finally finished about 2 weeks ago.  We had the carpets cleaned last week and finally have the cribs set up! They fit perfectly and I love them.  They are mini cribs and super cute.  We picked out my rocker/recliner and it is super comfy! Beau picked out our double stroller... it matches his truck :) haha.  It is a pretty awesome stroller though.  Things are coming together!!! 

Cribs and Rocker.  Now the fun part...decorating begins!! 

     

   

     

24 Weeks and All is Well

   I just had my 24 week appointment and all seems to be well.  They didn't do an ultrasound, which I hate because I simply like to see my babies!  But, heart rates were both good, so I am fine with that for now.  I made all my appointments from now till I deliver!!! That was weird.  My goal is October 1st, but I know I need to be prepared for anything after 32 weeks (yikes!).
     The latest pregnancy joys I've been experiencing are the common things.... acid reflux at night (sometimes all day), charlie-horses in my calves anytime and I try to stretch AND when I do nothing, hip soreness in the morning from only sleeping on my sides, itchy-belly skin, struggle to breath at times, more and more cellulite on my hips (I hate that one!) and the inability to bend over at ease.  However on the more positive side I am starting to have enough energy to get through a whole day.  Although I move a lot slower and getting 3-4 things done is considered a productive day as compared to my HUGE to-do list of pre-pregnancy times.  
     The Nursery is FINALLY, mostly done.  It just needs a little caulk along the baseboards and trim.  After that the carpets will be cleaned and cribs set up :) YAY!!!! I want to get it all done in the next month just in case I have to be on my butt, which I am praying I won't, but just in case.
     Last week Beau's wonderful, sweet mom threw me a family baby shower in Idaho.  It was a very quick trip up to Idaho and back, but it was a lot of fun.  I got spend time with my awesome in-laws AND I got to see a couple of my cousins, which I hadn't seen in years.

 

 

And... here is the 24 week belly picture update.  I feel like it is looking a little more torpedo-ish and moving past the cute round stage. I know it is probably just me, but whatever.

Let the Brother Fights Begin!

     Today was the day we got to see the boys to get all their measurements and check their vital organ growth...everything looked perfect! YAY :)  It was reconfirmed that they are, for sure, both boys.  Maverick (baby A) is 14 oz measuring and Zayden (baby B) is 13 oz and both are measuring the exact same in overall growth ( 20 wks and 6 days, which is exactly where I am at in duration!).  Maverick's heart rate is 152 bpm and Zayden's is 144 bpm, both are great.  I am sooooo excited that they are growing the same and they have all the blood flow and nourishment they need right now.
      They are laying horizontally across the bottom part of my belly on top of each other, just opposite directions.  Zayden is on top with Maverick squished underneath and... kicking each other in the heads!  It makes sense why I am not feeling them kick, they aren't kicking me...just each other!  

Zayden (baby B) is on top in the picture with his head profiled looking up on the right side of the picture.  His body is horizontal to the left.  Poor Maverick (baby A) is harder to see, squished on the bottom.  All you can see is the back of his head on the bottom left of the picture under Zayden's feet with a blurry little spine going horizontal to the right.  

     The ultrasound tech said this will probably be the last ultrasound picture we will get with both of them in the same shot...nice way to go out :) After this appointment they will be too big.  I am a happy mama-to-be knowing my boys are very healthy and growing the way they should.  They are already bonding as brothers and there is not much more I could ask for :)