It is 12:45 am on Thursday morning, which means my Princess Days are over and I have not been admitted to a mental hospital!!! Wahoooo. I had wonderful company, Beau's mom, and today was actually not that bad. I woke up late, tried a few sudoku puzzles ( I suck), had a conference call for work for an hour, took a two hour nap, ate a really good dinner, watched American Idol than a movie and now bed.
I got the call on the final frozen count... 10 frozen embryos :) I am happy with that! I still plan to take it easy for the next lil while, but I am sooooooo grateful these days are over!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Two Week Wait and Princess Days Are Here
Yesterday, Monday, at 3:00 pm Beau and I experienced the coolest thing ever. We got to watch as 2 little embryos were placed in my uterus. Neither of us could believe the day had finally come and that we weren't going to do IVF, but that we did IVF. The embryo's were so microscopic that really the only thing we could see on the ultrasound were the air bubbles the doctor placed on either side of each embryo so he could ensure they were placed correctly. I am pointing to the air bubbles on the screen in the picture below. We asked what our chances of success looked like to Dr. Foulk and he said they looked GREAT to him. The embryos were "gorgeous", my uterus looked perfect so the rest would be luck. Everything that could be controlled was where it needed to be. I prefer the Lord's hands to luck and that makes me excited.
These are the 2 embryos that were put in my uterus. They are magnified 400 times! Gorgeous, right?? It is crazy to me the instant instinct to protect that occurs when I know there is a "baby" in me. The same thing happened the moment I got the 2 positive results during the inseminations. Although I don't have that positive result yet, my desire to protect "my babies" has kicked in to high gear.
The actual procedure was very simple and painless. I was given a valium about 30 minutes before they took me back. I didn't get loopy or feel its effect, but I was told that was fine. Its purpose was to relax my uterus. Once they took me back it was the same procedure as any other visit... Everything off from the waist down and legs in the stirrups. Dr. Foulk did a few extra cleansing things to make sure there was not a single bad bacteria in me. Then he put a guide tube through my cervix and into my uterus. He did this because I guess the cervix can be a little tricky to get through and in order to not cause any trauma or damage to the eggs they use a guide tube. The tube was maybe 2 cm. around... it was tiny. Once that was in place the embryologist that had been growing our eggs in the lab brought in a syringe with our 2 embryos. Dr. Foulk fed an even smaller tube attached to the syringe into the guide tube and then gently pushed the embryos through and into my uterus. There was seriously no pain...love that. After the embryos were in I was told to lay very still for the next 20 min and then they would let me go home.
Before we left to go home I asked for VERY specific do's and don'ts for the upcoming princess days. These have been my biggest stress since day one. Dr. Foulk told us there is no science necessarily that proves laying still helps with fertility, but it is just a precaution they like to take at UFC. With that being said he told me to lay around as much as possible, but that I am allowed to at least walk myself from room to room in order to change views....phew, that sounded doable.
It is Tuesday night while I am writing this. Princess day one is almost done thank heavens. Yesterday when I got home I was only up for about an hour, fell asleep till 11:30 pm and then read my book till I fell asleep again at 2:00 am. Today I was up at 8 am. Beau's mom came to help for the next couple days so I talked to her for a few hours this morning, looked through a magazine and then asked my younger sister to bring over my nephew because he is a total snuggler and wouldn't mind just sitting around with me. Movie Party!!!
He left about 4:30. Beau's mom had gone to the grocery store and put a roast in the crockpot for dinner and then left to go visit some friends. Beau and I told her we wanted her to spend time with her friends while she was here because I don't need constant care and would be fine. Beau of course has been at work all night, but is playing in the church basketball game at this moment and than will come home for an hour, maybe, before heading back to work. I am soooooooo bored!!!!!!!! I've finished my book, watched some of the lamest TV shows ever put on TV, took a nap and now I am doing my blog. I feel pretty good, which makes sitting around that much harder. I thought I was prepared with things to keep me busy, nope. But I honestly don't know what I want to do besides go running! My mind chant is "protect the babies, protect the babies"...over and over.
I am also dreading the fact that the horrible two week wait (or longer... I don't know) has begun. After being so closely monitored for the last month there is silence from the dr for the next two weeks. Even with all the peace I feel about this process, I HAVE to keep my mind busy or I constantly think every little tweek or twinge is a sign of pregnancy. I CAN DO IT...right?
Besides all my regular supplements I am still doing the progesterone suppositories 3 times a day...yuck in the discharge department! And today I started my Heparin shots twice a day in my stomach. The shot itself isn't bad, but the burn after is not fun. Once I do the shot I have to put pressure on the injection site for almost 2 minutes or else I will get bruises at each injection site and look like a rotting blueberry pretty quickly.
The final count on fertilized eggs is 2 in me, 6-14 frozen. The reason for the range is that they froze 6 for sure on Monday, but there were 8 more that they were going to grow through today because they were really close to freezable status. I'll get the final count tomorrow I think. I am grateful for those numbers because if it's not this time than we have the opportuntity to try it again for a fraction of the cost and trauma to my body! That is a major stress relief.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Night of Retrieval
So it is 2:10 am technically Thursday morning... but I am yet to sleep, so it feels like Wednesday to me. Remember how I mentioned I have learned to be grateful for the pain today because tomorrow will probably be worse? Its true! I felt just a little sore leaving UFC (Utah Fertility Center) after the procedure. Of course at that time I was hopped up on good drugs. I was ok for about an hour once we got home and than conveniently about 10 minutes after Beau left to go back to work (after cooking me a delicious egg-white veggie omelet and turning our couch into the perfect lounge spot) the drugs wore off in an instant.
My right side felt like a massive muscle cramp mixed with a kidney infection. I realized I had forgotten to ask Beau to get the heating pad, which the doctor told me would be my best friend for the next day or so. I tried to lay in a few different positions first to see if I could get it to ease off a bit, but to no avail. Finally after what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute or two, I worked up the nerve to get up and hunt down the heating pad. Luckily it was right where I thought it would be. I hobbled back to the couch in a slight panic attack because I couldn't breathe from the pain and cranked up the heat. It took about 30 minutes to relax the cramping a bit. The moment I got back to the couch and had the heat on me I called the doctor and asked for a Rx for pain meds. The extra strength Tylenol they told me to take was not doing a darn thing. Dr. Foulk called in the Rx no questions asked...love that :) Beau picked it up as soon as he could, but it was about an hour and half after the drugs had worn off....phew, it was a long hour and a half. I haven't taken the heating pad off my stomach/side since I put it on around 3:00 this afternoon. It really does help.
My next obstacle has been food. I have no idea why, but around 10:30 I threw up. I was bummed because our neighborhood friends had brought us over a super good dinner. It was a mix of everything I had eaten and none of it was broken down. It was as if I had just eaten it 10 minutes prior!! Weird, but I feel like with me being so stagnate nothing is digesting right and of course the trauma of the day doesn't help my intestines. Then on the other end, literally, I am feeling constipated. This pressure is way worse than the constipation the shots caused. It doesn't help that my lower abdomen is really sore and pushing is out of the question. I will make my smoothie first thing in the morning, assuming I fall asleep tonight, and pray things start moving.
And then there is walking/moving. This is what I expected it to be. I can move if I HAVE to, but I would rather not. It is an all over soreness that just isn't comfortable, but not sharp pains or anything.
I started taking 2 pills, Doxocycline (again... took this early in January) and Medrol. I take both pills together with food twice a day for the next four days...not bad. I also have to do the Endometrin progesterone suppositories 3 times a day. These are the horse pills up the crotch I mentioned back in our insemination cycles. These suppositories are a little more expensive then the progesterone shots, but so much cleaner and easier mentally to do. The only downfall is the discharge...wear a panty liner and take extras with you where ever you go.
Since they let my eggs grow for an extra day it pushed things back a bit and the transfer will be Monday. I am actually kind of glad I have a longer time between the retrieval and the transfer than I expected because I feel like my body will calm down a bit by then and be ready for the next hurdle.
Three things to end with: First; I misunderstood. 5-7 eggs/ovary is the average...not the minimum. Second; my final egg count was not 28... it was 39!!!!! We should be able to freeze a few, which makes me super excited. Third; now that we are getting closer to the results of the process, I am questioning why I have been so open to share my story. My biggest regret from my two previous pregnancies, which ended in miscarriages, was telling family and a few friends when it was WAY to early to share the news. The idea of doing that again scares me. I do feel good about this blog and I feel my purposes in writing it have and are being accomplished. I am trying to be ok with the idea of lots of people either celebrating with me or crying with me to get over it and on to the next try. I hope for the first scenario :)
God is in the details of our lives! Good night.
My right side felt like a massive muscle cramp mixed with a kidney infection. I realized I had forgotten to ask Beau to get the heating pad, which the doctor told me would be my best friend for the next day or so. I tried to lay in a few different positions first to see if I could get it to ease off a bit, but to no avail. Finally after what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute or two, I worked up the nerve to get up and hunt down the heating pad. Luckily it was right where I thought it would be. I hobbled back to the couch in a slight panic attack because I couldn't breathe from the pain and cranked up the heat. It took about 30 minutes to relax the cramping a bit. The moment I got back to the couch and had the heat on me I called the doctor and asked for a Rx for pain meds. The extra strength Tylenol they told me to take was not doing a darn thing. Dr. Foulk called in the Rx no questions asked...love that :) Beau picked it up as soon as he could, but it was about an hour and half after the drugs had worn off....phew, it was a long hour and a half. I haven't taken the heating pad off my stomach/side since I put it on around 3:00 this afternoon. It really does help.
My next obstacle has been food. I have no idea why, but around 10:30 I threw up. I was bummed because our neighborhood friends had brought us over a super good dinner. It was a mix of everything I had eaten and none of it was broken down. It was as if I had just eaten it 10 minutes prior!! Weird, but I feel like with me being so stagnate nothing is digesting right and of course the trauma of the day doesn't help my intestines. Then on the other end, literally, I am feeling constipated. This pressure is way worse than the constipation the shots caused. It doesn't help that my lower abdomen is really sore and pushing is out of the question. I will make my smoothie first thing in the morning, assuming I fall asleep tonight, and pray things start moving.
And then there is walking/moving. This is what I expected it to be. I can move if I HAVE to, but I would rather not. It is an all over soreness that just isn't comfortable, but not sharp pains or anything.
I started taking 2 pills, Doxocycline (again... took this early in January) and Medrol. I take both pills together with food twice a day for the next four days...not bad. I also have to do the Endometrin progesterone suppositories 3 times a day. These are the horse pills up the crotch I mentioned back in our insemination cycles. These suppositories are a little more expensive then the progesterone shots, but so much cleaner and easier mentally to do. The only downfall is the discharge...wear a panty liner and take extras with you where ever you go.
Since they let my eggs grow for an extra day it pushed things back a bit and the transfer will be Monday. I am actually kind of glad I have a longer time between the retrieval and the transfer than I expected because I feel like my body will calm down a bit by then and be ready for the next hurdle.
Three things to end with: First; I misunderstood. 5-7 eggs/ovary is the average...not the minimum. Second; my final egg count was not 28... it was 39!!!!! We should be able to freeze a few, which makes me super excited. Third; now that we are getting closer to the results of the process, I am questioning why I have been so open to share my story. My biggest regret from my two previous pregnancies, which ended in miscarriages, was telling family and a few friends when it was WAY to early to share the news. The idea of doing that again scares me. I do feel good about this blog and I feel my purposes in writing it have and are being accomplished. I am trying to be ok with the idea of lots of people either celebrating with me or crying with me to get over it and on to the next try. I hope for the first scenario :)
God is in the details of our lives! Good night.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Night Before the Egg Retrieval
Yayyyyyyyyy!!! My egg/folicle retrieval is scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 1:00 pm. Technically they measure folicles at this stage because the eggs that are within the folicles are too tiny to see. The Bravelle shots (3 bravelle powders mixed with 1 menopur powder and 1 ml of water) I've been taking for about a week and a half each morning worked wonders. I have 28 folicles with 19 at maturity!!! An egg/folicle is considered at maturity once it is 1.8 + centimeters in diameter. You don't want it to be more than 2.5 though. It will most likely die off at that point. I took my HCG shot last night at 1:00 am. This shot is a liquid mixed with powder shot and it is given in your stomach (of course... my stomach is sore from all the shots!). It jump starts the ovulation process, which I guess makes it easier to retrieve the eggs/folicles. This was my last shot of the process, at least until after the egg transfer and I have to take my heparin shots for my blood disorder (but those aren't bad).
I am really excited for this next step. I will be under anesthesia for the procedure and I was told it should only take about 30-45 minutes. Dr. Foulk performs the extraction in the Utah Fertility Center, which I like because I don't have to go to the hospital and waste a bunch of time... in and out :) I don't know the details of the procedure yet, but I'll update afterwards. Beau has to give a sperm sample while they are doing the retrieval on me. He had to do a back up sample a few weeks ago and remembered to ask for mineral oil this time. It was a whole new world for him considering he had done the previous 10 samples completely dry. Yay for mineral oil!
I have been sleeping a TON the last couple days and am continuously grateful I work from home and have such a flexible schedule to allow myself to rest as needed. My hat is off to women that go through this process with a typical job and/or kids. The headaches finally stopped about 3 days ago and I found a great cure for the constipation. The cure is NATURAL fiber. I make a green smoothie in the morning and try to eat only organic foods with as much fiber as possible. I know it sounds trendy/snotty to only eat organic, but try it... I promise you will notice a difference in your body! TMI: My nipples are super sensitive and not in a good way. That just started about 2 days ago. No swelling in my breasts though, so that is nice. And poor Beau... we are not allowed to have sex for the next 3 weeks. He of course has not complained once about this, but instead jokes about how it will stretch our creativity...way to look on the bright side.
The cramping has conveniently gotten worse with each day. I assume it is because the folicles are getting bigger. With each step I take I get a sharp pain in my ovary area that at times takes my breath away. Today I needed to grab a few things at the grocery store and seriously went in hoping to use one of the go-cart shopping carts. Sadly, there were none available, but I couldn't be too mad when I saw two elderly ladies using them in the store. The cool thing was that while I was in the store I honestly did not have even the slightest cramping or pain. I call that a tender mercy from the Lord!
A few things I have learned through this process are;
1. be ok with the pain you have today because tomorrow it will most likely be worse
2. always ask if meds can be combined, so instead of 5 shots a day maybe you can mix a few and do only 2 or 3 shots...also for shots: ask about a Q-cap. They make things easier
3. be patient with your body and don't worry that the stomach muscles you have worked so hard for are already fading
4. take things one item at a time. Looking at the whole picture is overwhelming, but one item at a time is easy
5. don't let your mind wander or go to worse-case-scenario's based on things you've heard... your journey is your journey and its between you and the Lord.
Lastly, I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system behind me. My husband is ridiculously amazing, my friends and family are wonderful and my neighbors are super helpful!! Thank you all :) I do feel that this procedure will work, but if not the first time it will be ok and we'll move forward. Its all part of a bigger plan :)
I am really excited for this next step. I will be under anesthesia for the procedure and I was told it should only take about 30-45 minutes. Dr. Foulk performs the extraction in the Utah Fertility Center, which I like because I don't have to go to the hospital and waste a bunch of time... in and out :) I don't know the details of the procedure yet, but I'll update afterwards. Beau has to give a sperm sample while they are doing the retrieval on me. He had to do a back up sample a few weeks ago and remembered to ask for mineral oil this time. It was a whole new world for him considering he had done the previous 10 samples completely dry. Yay for mineral oil!
I have been sleeping a TON the last couple days and am continuously grateful I work from home and have such a flexible schedule to allow myself to rest as needed. My hat is off to women that go through this process with a typical job and/or kids. The headaches finally stopped about 3 days ago and I found a great cure for the constipation. The cure is NATURAL fiber. I make a green smoothie in the morning and try to eat only organic foods with as much fiber as possible. I know it sounds trendy/snotty to only eat organic, but try it... I promise you will notice a difference in your body! TMI: My nipples are super sensitive and not in a good way. That just started about 2 days ago. No swelling in my breasts though, so that is nice. And poor Beau... we are not allowed to have sex for the next 3 weeks. He of course has not complained once about this, but instead jokes about how it will stretch our creativity...way to look on the bright side.
The cramping has conveniently gotten worse with each day. I assume it is because the folicles are getting bigger. With each step I take I get a sharp pain in my ovary area that at times takes my breath away. Today I needed to grab a few things at the grocery store and seriously went in hoping to use one of the go-cart shopping carts. Sadly, there were none available, but I couldn't be too mad when I saw two elderly ladies using them in the store. The cool thing was that while I was in the store I honestly did not have even the slightest cramping or pain. I call that a tender mercy from the Lord!
A few things I have learned through this process are;
1. be ok with the pain you have today because tomorrow it will most likely be worse
2. always ask if meds can be combined, so instead of 5 shots a day maybe you can mix a few and do only 2 or 3 shots...also for shots: ask about a Q-cap. They make things easier
3. be patient with your body and don't worry that the stomach muscles you have worked so hard for are already fading
4. take things one item at a time. Looking at the whole picture is overwhelming, but one item at a time is easy
5. don't let your mind wander or go to worse-case-scenario's based on things you've heard... your journey is your journey and its between you and the Lord.
Lastly, I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system behind me. My husband is ridiculously amazing, my friends and family are wonderful and my neighbors are super helpful!! Thank you all :) I do feel that this procedure will work, but if not the first time it will be ok and we'll move forward. Its all part of a bigger plan :)
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I'm Officially a Human Egg Farm...and Happy About It.
Monday was my last day going to the gym and playing volleyball. I ran 3 miles on the treadmill then played vball for 2.5 hours. I was EXHAUSTED, but happy. This point in the process has been my biggest stress because I don't sit still well. I planned to go to the gym each morning and slowly walk on the treadmill.... NOPE! Not going to the gym or moving is just fine with me right now... never thought I would say that.
The drugs have really kicked in and my ovaries are in hyper-drive. I had my estrogen levels checked on Tuesday and they look great :) Then today I had my first egg count ultrasound. The ultrasounds from here on out will all be the inter-vaginal kind. My lining is nice and thin and my egg count is 28!!!! The minimum to proceed is 5-7 per ovary... I have 14 in each ovary. It is a good number and it puts me at ease because I was worried I wouldn't produce enough to have extras to freeze. It still isn't a guarantee that the quality will be good on all of them, but at least my odds aren't too bad. Once I got home I had a cheesy moment and realized the Lord has a sense of humor. All growing up my lucky number was 28. If I couldn't have 28 in a sport I went with 14. Coincidence, no... I prefer to think of it as the Lord giving me one more lil sign that he is in control :)
TMI warning: Headaches, Constipation and Cramps!!! These have been my best friends the last couple days and I was told this morning that the constipation will only get worse, ughhh. I am blessed to work from home so I can sit on the toilet for long periods of time. My butt and legs may fall asleep, but at least it gets things moving...eventually!!! Then there is the cramps. Every time I take a step I get a nice lil sharp pain in my ovaries. Right foot causes the right side to cramp and vice versa. I end up walking like I have something stuck up my butt because I am trying to step softly. It really doesn't make a difference, but I tell myself it helps. Also, as things move through my intestines and pass by the ovary areas, including gas bubbles, it REALLY hurts. It feels like diarrhea sharp pains, but they are usually short. The headaches are tricky because nothing helps. I try to sleep them away and even that works only 50% of the time.
Sleep... I sleep a lot. I feel like a little kid again because I plan my day around my afternoon nap. I have to have one (or two). I have tons of energy in the morning for about an hour and then I am literally tired enough to climb back into bed and go to sleep. I try to get as much done as possible before finally giving into a nap, but sometimes it isn't much. I consider a productive day to be accomplishing 4-5 small tasks. When you don't have time for sleep you always think a nap would be great... but then when your body forces you to take a nap it can be kind of annoying. Today I don't plan to leave the house, but I've done a bunch of things around the house :) Sadly I finally showered this morning after 3 days!!!! I seriously have not had the energy to even do that.
All in all though I think things are going great. So far I would do the process again in a heartbeat. The side effects I am experiencing are not that big of a deal (knock on wood) and the good news I keep getting at each doctors appointment makes it all worth it. I am still super calm about everything and trying my best to stay upbeat and not be a bump-on-a-log downer to those around me.
The drugs have really kicked in and my ovaries are in hyper-drive. I had my estrogen levels checked on Tuesday and they look great :) Then today I had my first egg count ultrasound. The ultrasounds from here on out will all be the inter-vaginal kind. My lining is nice and thin and my egg count is 28!!!! The minimum to proceed is 5-7 per ovary... I have 14 in each ovary. It is a good number and it puts me at ease because I was worried I wouldn't produce enough to have extras to freeze. It still isn't a guarantee that the quality will be good on all of them, but at least my odds aren't too bad. Once I got home I had a cheesy moment and realized the Lord has a sense of humor. All growing up my lucky number was 28. If I couldn't have 28 in a sport I went with 14. Coincidence, no... I prefer to think of it as the Lord giving me one more lil sign that he is in control :)
TMI warning: Headaches, Constipation and Cramps!!! These have been my best friends the last couple days and I was told this morning that the constipation will only get worse, ughhh. I am blessed to work from home so I can sit on the toilet for long periods of time. My butt and legs may fall asleep, but at least it gets things moving...eventually!!! Then there is the cramps. Every time I take a step I get a nice lil sharp pain in my ovaries. Right foot causes the right side to cramp and vice versa. I end up walking like I have something stuck up my butt because I am trying to step softly. It really doesn't make a difference, but I tell myself it helps. Also, as things move through my intestines and pass by the ovary areas, including gas bubbles, it REALLY hurts. It feels like diarrhea sharp pains, but they are usually short. The headaches are tricky because nothing helps. I try to sleep them away and even that works only 50% of the time.
Sleep... I sleep a lot. I feel like a little kid again because I plan my day around my afternoon nap. I have to have one (or two). I have tons of energy in the morning for about an hour and then I am literally tired enough to climb back into bed and go to sleep. I try to get as much done as possible before finally giving into a nap, but sometimes it isn't much. I consider a productive day to be accomplishing 4-5 small tasks. When you don't have time for sleep you always think a nap would be great... but then when your body forces you to take a nap it can be kind of annoying. Today I don't plan to leave the house, but I've done a bunch of things around the house :) Sadly I finally showered this morning after 3 days!!!! I seriously have not had the energy to even do that.
All in all though I think things are going great. So far I would do the process again in a heartbeat. The side effects I am experiencing are not that big of a deal (knock on wood) and the good news I keep getting at each doctors appointment makes it all worth it. I am still super calm about everything and trying my best to stay upbeat and not be a bump-on-a-log downer to those around me.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Period.... What Period???
I was interested to see how my period was going to go after stopping the birth control... well, it didn't happen. I stopped the birth control on Jan. 3rd and was scheduled for my baseline ultrasound on the 9th. Typically the baseline ultrasound is done on day 3 of my period to ensure that my lining is thin and my ovaries are empty. When I still hadn't even started spotting by Jan. 8th I called Tanya to let her know what was going on. She told me it is actually somewhat common for women to miss their period immediately after stopping birth control and it was not something to worry about in regards to moving forward. For some reason her answer did not give me comfort, but instead caused my mind to start going to worse case scenarios. Half my scenarios were not even logical, but none-the-less I started a nice little panic attack. I was concerned that I would have to postpone everything. I was nervous that if I was told to keep going that it wasn't going to work. I was scared of being told I would have to take even more meds... finally at 2 am I convinced myself to relax and recognize there was nothing I could do about it and worrying was not helping a thing.
The next morning on the 9th I had my baseline ultrasound and was comforted to know that everything looked perfect. My uterus lining was very thin and my estrogen levels were normal. There were no cysts on my ovaries and my ovaries were "quiet". , when I talked it through with one of the nurses it was actually a great situation for me. Since I have endometriosis the less periods I have the better. Even though I have had the surgery to have the lesions and bacteria removed, it gradually grows back with each period. Basically, all systems are a go!!
On Jan. 10th I added the stimulation drugs to start the egg factory. I draw 1 ml. of liquid into a syringe and than push it into a small glass bottle of powder called Bravelle. I repeat this with a total of 3 Bravelle powders and 1 Menopur powder. The end result is a very concentrated 1 ml of liquid that I inject into my stomach with a one inch needle. I thought I would have to do 4 shots, one for each powder, so the fact I can mix them all into one makes it a mentally ok shot. Pain wise, it burns as it goes in and the injection site is sore for a few days. I am still doing the Lupron shot each morning as well. The Lupron used to not bother me, but the last couple days the needle seems to be sharper or something. The entrance pinch is getting worse or my stomach is becoming more sensitive :) The new shot takes me about 5 minutes just to get it ready. I kind of feel like I am a chemist creating some crazy potion. I cleared out one of my cabinets and I moved the meds that I am currently taking into. I was having to get out my big rubbermaid bin each morning and dig out each thing I needed. That made it take longer, it was annoying and digging through all the meds was a daily reminder of how much stuff I was putting in me. With the cabinet I only see the meds I need at the moment and it is organized so I can grab each item quickly... much better.
The side effects of the stimulation drugs are once again exhaustion, major irritability and headaches/migraines. The headaches are the worst because there is nothing that makes them better. The exhuastion I just go take a nap and then I am fine. The irritability is crazy. I have days where I get annoyed at the dumbest things. I have a million pep talks with myself to just relax on these days. I am glad I work from home on these days because if anyone was around to hear the conversations I have with myself I would have been admitted by now. I truly feel crazy at times. The other day I tried to return some bed sheets to a store. It was a few days past their return time frame, so they called a manager over. When the manager told me there was nothing he could do for me I ripped into him about how ridiculous I thought his lack of customer service was and that the policy was terrible and if he wanted to keep my business he should figure out a way to make an exception. When he still stood his ground I literally grabbed the sheets out of his hands and stomped out of the store!!! Once I got to my car I sat in awe at how lame I had just acted. I love the store and of course they would not lose my business over some sheets. It was my fault I didn't bring the sheets back within their advertised return time frame. The manager was just doing his job and didn't deserve an ounce of attitude I had just given him. I wanted to go in and apologize, but was too embarrassed by my actions to go back in. I wish I could explain that what I did was not me, but no guy would truly believe/understand it was hormones. Anyways, that is just one example of one of my many irritable moments.
With each new step I am getting more and more excited about the process. I continue to feel comfort and peace in the answer I received a few weeks back. I know we are on the path the Lord would have us on and that our family will start soon.
The next morning on the 9th I had my baseline ultrasound and was comforted to know that everything looked perfect. My uterus lining was very thin and my estrogen levels were normal. There were no cysts on my ovaries and my ovaries were "quiet". , when I talked it through with one of the nurses it was actually a great situation for me. Since I have endometriosis the less periods I have the better. Even though I have had the surgery to have the lesions and bacteria removed, it gradually grows back with each period. Basically, all systems are a go!!
On Jan. 10th I added the stimulation drugs to start the egg factory. I draw 1 ml. of liquid into a syringe and than push it into a small glass bottle of powder called Bravelle. I repeat this with a total of 3 Bravelle powders and 1 Menopur powder. The end result is a very concentrated 1 ml of liquid that I inject into my stomach with a one inch needle. I thought I would have to do 4 shots, one for each powder, so the fact I can mix them all into one makes it a mentally ok shot. Pain wise, it burns as it goes in and the injection site is sore for a few days. I am still doing the Lupron shot each morning as well. The Lupron used to not bother me, but the last couple days the needle seems to be sharper or something. The entrance pinch is getting worse or my stomach is becoming more sensitive :) The new shot takes me about 5 minutes just to get it ready. I kind of feel like I am a chemist creating some crazy potion. I cleared out one of my cabinets and I moved the meds that I am currently taking into. I was having to get out my big rubbermaid bin each morning and dig out each thing I needed. That made it take longer, it was annoying and digging through all the meds was a daily reminder of how much stuff I was putting in me. With the cabinet I only see the meds I need at the moment and it is organized so I can grab each item quickly... much better.
The side effects of the stimulation drugs are once again exhaustion, major irritability and headaches/migraines. The headaches are the worst because there is nothing that makes them better. The exhuastion I just go take a nap and then I am fine. The irritability is crazy. I have days where I get annoyed at the dumbest things. I have a million pep talks with myself to just relax on these days. I am glad I work from home on these days because if anyone was around to hear the conversations I have with myself I would have been admitted by now. I truly feel crazy at times. The other day I tried to return some bed sheets to a store. It was a few days past their return time frame, so they called a manager over. When the manager told me there was nothing he could do for me I ripped into him about how ridiculous I thought his lack of customer service was and that the policy was terrible and if he wanted to keep my business he should figure out a way to make an exception. When he still stood his ground I literally grabbed the sheets out of his hands and stomped out of the store!!! Once I got to my car I sat in awe at how lame I had just acted. I love the store and of course they would not lose my business over some sheets. It was my fault I didn't bring the sheets back within their advertised return time frame. The manager was just doing his job and didn't deserve an ounce of attitude I had just given him. I wanted to go in and apologize, but was too embarrassed by my actions to go back in. I wish I could explain that what I did was not me, but no guy would truly believe/understand it was hormones. Anyways, that is just one example of one of my many irritable moments.
With each new step I am getting more and more excited about the process. I continue to feel comfort and peace in the answer I received a few weeks back. I know we are on the path the Lord would have us on and that our family will start soon.
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