I was interested to see how my period was going to go after stopping the birth control... well, it didn't happen. I stopped the birth control on Jan. 3rd and was scheduled for my baseline ultrasound on the 9th. Typically the baseline ultrasound is done on day 3 of my period to ensure that my lining is thin and my ovaries are empty. When I still hadn't even started spotting by Jan. 8th I called Tanya to let her know what was going on. She told me it is actually somewhat common for women to miss their period immediately after stopping birth control and it was not something to worry about in regards to moving forward. For some reason her answer did not give me comfort, but instead caused my mind to start going to worse case scenarios. Half my scenarios were not even logical, but none-the-less I started a nice little panic attack. I was concerned that I would have to postpone everything. I was nervous that if I was told to keep going that it wasn't going to work. I was scared of being told I would have to take even more meds... finally at 2 am I convinced myself to relax and recognize there was nothing I could do about it and worrying was not helping a thing.
The next morning on the 9th I had my baseline ultrasound and was comforted to know that everything looked perfect. My uterus lining was very thin and my estrogen levels were normal. There were no cysts on my ovaries and my ovaries were "quiet". , when I talked it through with one of the nurses it was actually a great situation for me. Since I have endometriosis the less periods I have the better. Even though I have had the surgery to have the lesions and bacteria removed, it gradually grows back with each period. Basically, all systems are a go!!
On Jan. 10th I added the stimulation drugs to start the egg factory. I draw 1 ml. of liquid into a syringe and than push it into a small glass bottle of powder called Bravelle. I repeat this with a total of 3 Bravelle powders and 1 Menopur powder. The end result is a very concentrated 1 ml of liquid that I inject into my stomach with a one inch needle. I thought I would have to do 4 shots, one for each powder, so the fact I can mix them all into one makes it a mentally ok shot. Pain wise, it burns as it goes in and the injection site is sore for a few days. I am still doing the Lupron shot each morning as well. The Lupron used to not bother me, but the last couple days the needle seems to be sharper or something. The entrance pinch is getting worse or my stomach is becoming more sensitive :) The new shot takes me about 5 minutes just to get it ready. I kind of feel like I am a chemist creating some crazy potion. I cleared out one of my cabinets and I moved the meds that I am currently taking into. I was having to get out my big rubbermaid bin each morning and dig out each thing I needed. That made it take longer, it was annoying and digging through all the meds was a daily reminder of how much stuff I was putting in me. With the cabinet I only see the meds I need at the moment and it is organized so I can grab each item quickly... much better.
The side effects of the stimulation drugs are once again exhaustion, major irritability and headaches/migraines. The headaches are the worst because there is nothing that makes them better. The exhuastion I just go take a nap and then I am fine. The irritability is crazy. I have days where I get annoyed at the dumbest things. I have a million pep talks with myself to just relax on these days. I am glad I work from home on these days because if anyone was around to hear the conversations I have with myself I would have been admitted by now. I truly feel crazy at times. The other day I tried to return some bed sheets to a store. It was a few days past their return time frame, so they called a manager over. When the manager told me there was nothing he could do for me I ripped into him about how ridiculous I thought his lack of customer service was and that the policy was terrible and if he wanted to keep my business he should figure out a way to make an exception. When he still stood his ground I literally grabbed the sheets out of his hands and stomped out of the store!!! Once I got to my car I sat in awe at how lame I had just acted. I love the store and of course they would not lose my business over some sheets. It was my fault I didn't bring the sheets back within their advertised return time frame. The manager was just doing his job and didn't deserve an ounce of attitude I had just given him. I wanted to go in and apologize, but was too embarrassed by my actions to go back in. I wish I could explain that what I did was not me, but no guy would truly believe/understand it was hormones. Anyways, that is just one example of one of my many irritable moments.
With each new step I am getting more and more excited about the process. I continue to feel comfort and peace in the answer I received a few weeks back. I know we are on the path the Lord would have us on and that our family will start soon.
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